Say Something
by Ms. Jessica
Summary: Have you ever wondered what would hurt worse? Saying something and wishing you hadn't or saying nothing and wishing you had? James and Lily are in love but never said anything. Years later James is getting married, will Lily admit her love for him?
1. Getting Ready

Say Something

AN: This is my first fanfiction, so just kind of stay with me. Lol, I know this chapter is really short and is a little rough, but I hope you like it.

**Disclaimer!! I do NOT own Harry Potter!!!! **

Lily's hands shook as she put her necklace on. She had to hold on to the dresser as she put on her high heels. When she had finished, she took a step back and looked into the mirror. She smiled when she saw herself. She was wearing her cap and gown; she couldn't believe tonight she would be graduating. She looked around her room, where she had shared so many memories with her friends for the past seven years. She put her hairbrush and what she had used to get ready, back into her bag and zipped it up. She then walked over to her bed, where all her belongings were, and placed it with them. She turned around when her friend Natalie busted through the door, "Lily!"

"What?" Lily asked, a little afraid as Natalie bolted towards her, with her arms outstretched.

Natalie grabbed her in a huge bear hug, "We're graduating!"

Lily gasped for breath and unhooked her friends hold on her before speaking, " I know I can't believe it either." Lily laughed at her friends behavior.

"So…you all packed?" Natalie looked over Lily's shoulder and the pile of luggage on the bed.

"Yep." Lily glanced at it too.

"When do you want to go down?" It was very clear to Lily that Natalie was excited.

"I don't know, when do you think we should?"

"Well, we still have to meet everyone else, take pictures, say our goodbyes…"

"Ok let's go." Lily interrupted grabbing Natalie's arm and pulled her along through the door.

The two girls busted down the stairs excitedly and ran to their friends in the corner of the common room.

Lily hugged James, "Hey."

James smiled and hugged her back, "Hey."

Natalie started talking to Sirius, Lily's other friends Samantha and Hannah were talking to Peter and Remus.

Lily had been James's best friend for years. They talked about everything and only a few times had it ever been awkward. James knew everything about Lily and vise versa. They had no secrets from each other, except one. Lily never told James, but she was in love with him. She had been since she met him, though she knew nothing would ever happen. She had tried to convince herself of this, but for some reason her heart just didn't want to listen. She had tried and tried to fall out of love, but everything about him brought her back in. His eyes, his smile, his smell…

"Are you coming tonight?" James voice brought Lily back to reality.

"What?"

James laughed, " I guess that's a no."

"No," Lily felt bad, she had a tendency to daydream, " I'm sorry I was just distracted."

"Its cool, I was just wondering if you were coming to the party tonight?" He waited for her answer.

"Um…" Lily knew about the party but still hadn't decided whither or not to go. On one hand it was probably the last time she would see many of her friends, but on the other hand she still had a lot to get done before she moved into her apartment. "Yeah."

James flashed his brilliant smile and hugged her again. She could never disappoint him. When he let her go she smiled and went to talk to Remus. After a little while longer the ceremony started.


	2. The Party

Chapter 2

AN: Again this chapter is short and a little rough, but after this chapter it's going to get good. These first two chapters I didn't want to write, but I had to. But here you go!

**Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry Potter!!**

James watched Lily from across the room. He watched her talk and laugh with her friends. Every time she smiled, he smiled.

"Wow mate," Peter stood beside him, " you've got it bad."

"I know," James sighed.

Sirius came up to his other side, "You mean you haven't told her yet?"

James shook his head and looked at her, "no."

"Listen man, if you're waiting for the right time to tell her. Its now, because after tonight, who knows what's going to happen." Sirius advised.

"We'll still see each other, I'm her best friend." James argued, he didn't like the sound of never seeing her again.

"That's probably true, but once your Auror training starts you'll be so busy, you'll barely have time for yourself."

James knew this was true, but he couldn't let that happen, more importantly he wouldn't let that happen. James nodded at Sirius and walked to Lily. Lily looked up when he came over and smiled. She was so beautiful. " Lily, can I talk to you?"

She got a confused look on her face, but nodded. She followed James out into the yard.

The air was cool, but better than the stuffy house they had just been in.

James took a deep breath, " Lily-Lil-L.." He closed his eyes and tried to start again, "Lily…"but this time she interrupted him.

"What James? What is it?" Lily was beginning to get a little worried, what ever it was it couldn't be good, "Are you ok?"

"Yes I'm fine, its just-" he was interrupted again, this time though by his mother.

"James! James! Come on we're going to cut the cake! Quick!" she was standing in the doorframe waving them in.

James's jaw tightened. He was obviously frustrated, but about what Lily didn't know.

She watched his mother go back into the house before speaking, " James."

He looked at her, and forced a smile. At that she busted out laughing.

"What?" he was laughing now.

"Your face!" She gasped for breath.

"James!" His mothers voice traveled to them once again.

He pinched the bridge between his eyes, "That woman…I swear."

Lily giggled and pulled him into a hug, "It'll be fine, I promise."

James wished he could stay like that forever, in her arms. Soon, too soon, she pulled away.

She looked up at him, " I guess we'd better get in there."

"Yeah." They walked slowly back towards the packed house. James stopped, "Wait Lily I have to tell you something."

Lily stopped and waited.

Just then a girl from their grade ran down the steps and over to James. She was giggling and grabbed him by the arm, "Come on James." She said sweetly. So sweetly that it made Lily want to throw up. She waved to Lily and started to pull James into the house. He resisted a bit, but Lily shrugged her shoulders and smiled, "You can tell me later."

Hearing that the girl pulled him into the house, leaving Lily alone in the yard. She started to walk in, but changed her mind and just apparated home.

Everyone was crowed around the food table trying to get a piece of graduation cake. Peter and Sirius were having a challenge to see who could get the most cake in their mouths. Remus saved James from the girl, "Did you tell her?"

James shook his head. Remus sighed, "James."

"Its not my fault I was trying, but everyone kept interrupting me." It was a sorry excuse and he knew that. James couldn't wait for the party to be over, he wanted everyone to leave.

"What are you going to do now?" Remus asked.

"I don't know, try again I guess."

"What you mean, he didn't ask her?" Sirius came over now he had won the challenge.

James rubbed his temples; he was starting to get a headache, "No, I didn't ask her."

James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius spent the rest of the time talking and playing pranks. James couldn't hide is happiness when the party was over. He flicked his wand to clean up and went to bed. Hoping that the next time he saw Lily, he would tell her.


	3. Letters

Chapter 3

AN: ok, here is where the story is going to pick up. So enjoy!! And is Auror a field in the ministry? I don't know, but in my story it is. Ha ha

**Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry Potter!!!**

5 years after graduation

James opened the door to his flat. He was unbelievably tired, every muscle in his body ached. He proved himself in the past four years to be exactly what the ministry needs in an Auror. This was is first year as an official Auror, and he was loving it. He walked over to his kitchen table and found a letter from Lily. They had been keeping touch, just as he said they would, since graduation. The letter brought a smile to his face, one that only she could bring. There was a knock at the door, James put down the letter, and answered it. His girlfriend, Kristy, threw herself on him. He kissed her, and held her for a little bit.

"So, how was work today?" She asked pulling away from their embrace.

"Same as always, what about you?" He shut the door as she headed to the kitchen.

"Oh, it was fine," she took off her coat and purse and sat them on the kitchen table. Then she noticed the letter, "What's this?"

James came up behind her, "Oh, nothing. It's Lily."

"What'd she say?" she started to pick up the letter but James grabbed it from her.

"Nothing."

"Jamie!" James hated that nickname, almost as much as the voice she said it in.

"What does it matter?" There wasn't anything in there that she couldn't read; it was just that it was from Lily and he considered it personal.

"What's in there that you don't want me to read?" Kristy was getting upset over nothing.

"Nothing! Nothings in here that you cant read, its just I don't want you to read it!" James almost never raised his voice, but this was getting out of hand. He shredded the paper and threw it on the floor. "Are you ready?"

She looked like she was about to cry, "yes."

James sighed he hadn't meant to yell, " Come here."

She hesitated but walked over slowly. He put his arms around her and they stayed like that for a minute or two before getting their coats and leaving. The fight about Lily wasn't their first and James knew it probably wouldn't be their last. He had tried to let her go, so many times. He had dated non-stop through out the first year after graduation trying to get over her, then he found Kristy and had been dating her since. While Kristy was beautiful with her long black hair and hazel eyes, she was nowhere near Lily. Lily had gorgeous red hair and amazing green eyes; she had everything that he wanted and everything that he needed. James had to put all focus on Kristy to forget Lily, once he even took down the picture of him and Lily at the Graduation ceremony after Kristy complained about it, though put it back up three days later. He had accepted that he couldn't forget her, and so he stopped trying.

Lily came home to her apartment; she threw her keys into a bowl that she kept on a table by the door. She then kicked off her shoes and shrugged off her coat. She went to her room and changed into her pajamas, on her way to the kitchen she flicked her wand and the radio came on. She then found some leftovers and heated them up. She was flipping through her mail when she heard a tapping noise beside her. She looked up and saw an owl tapping on the window. She went over and collected the letter and gave the owl a treat before it flew off. She turned the letter over and saw James's handwriting. She smiled to herself as she shredded the envelope and began to read the letter. _What's he up to now?_ She thought. He wrote of good things, he seemed happy. His job was going good. _No injuries. _ He was still together with that girlfriend of his. _Ugh! _ She put the letter down and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill and wrote a reply.

"Abby!" A snow-white owl came fluttering into the kitchen. Lily tied the letter to her leg and gave her treat and sent her out the window.

When Lily had finished eating she put the dishes into the sink and went into the living room. She found a magazine and started to read an article.

_Pop!_

Lily looked up from the magazine to see Natalie standing by the door.

"Hey!" Lily was glad to see her.

"Hey love," Natalie smiled and moved towards the Kitchen.

Lily spoke so Natalie could hear, " What's up?"

"Ah, nothing. You?" Natalie asked.

"Same."

"What's this?" Natalie said coming back holding a drink in one hand and the letter in the other.

"What? Oh, its just a letter from James." Lily put the magazine down and scooted over so Natalie could sit.

"Ooooh, what does it say?" Natalie smiled from ear to ear.

Lily laughed, " Not much, his job hasn't killed him yet, yesterday he had went out with Sirius and Remus, oh, and he's still together with that girl."

Natalie put the letter on the coffee table and looked at Lily, " I'm sorry."

"Ah, well, it doesn't matter."

"No it does, why don't you tell him!" Natalie insisted.

"Why? He has a _girlfriend!_" Lily was shocked.

"So, he's not married." Natalie argued.

Lily smiled, "Nah, I'll wait."

"Fine, whatever, I give up. Although," Natalie got a playful look on her face, " you know that Mark is free now."

Lily rolled her eyes, " No way."

"Why not? He's been flirting with you for weeks! He's really hot, plus he's your boss!"

"Exactly, that's why! What if something bad happens between us, then what?" Lily shook her head.

"Lily Evans!" Natalie turned to face lily more.

Lily giggled and shook her head again, and then she thought about James and what he would think of her dating her boss.

Natalie guessed she was thinking of James, "You know Lils, you can't waste your whole life waiting for James." Natalie whispered.

"I know." Lily sighed; the words hurt her more than Natalie intended.

"He's got a girlfriend, there's no reason why you can't have a boyfriend. And _if _he breaks up with her, you can break up with mike." Natalie smiled and her scheme.

"That's true." Lily agreed, the truth was she hadn't had a date since graduation and was beginning to feel lonely, "Ok. Ok. I'll talk to him tomorrow at work."

"Yes!" Natalie chuckled.

The two girls spent the rest of the night hatching their plan for the next day at work.

James was exhausted when he came home. He threw his coat over his couch and, walked into his room. He was changing when he heard a noise at the window; he turned to see a snowy owl. He smiled to himself and opened the window, "Hey Abby." He took the letter from the owl, and finished changing. As he read her reply he remember the shredded letter in the kitchen. He went in there and with a flip of his wand the pieces formed the letter again. He took both letters back into his room, where he read them, and placed them in his top drawer along with all her replies. He laid down on his bed and freed his mind to think of Lily. If he tried hard enough, sometimes he could still smell her perfume. He rolled over on his side, and thought about the date with Kristy. It had gone well, as good as it could have been. Kristy was a little flustered all night, and James suspected it had been caused by the fight. James knew Kristy deserved better, but for some reason she still wanted to be with him. Their relationship was a confusing one, at the beginning it was mostly physical, but he soon came to love her. Love. He remembered when he first said that he loved her, it was quite possibly the hardest thing he had ever done. They had been dating for at least 4years now, he wasn't really sure when they'd first started dating. She says it was in March, but he swears it was in May. James rolled on his other side, he couldn't get comfortable. He opened his eyes and saw the picture of him and Lily. They were standing with their arms around each other, and confetti all around them. Lily's smile was big, but his was much bigger. They looked happy. With that picture in his mind, he fell asleep.


	4. Dates

Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry Potter 

Chapter 4

Lily walked down the halls of the Daily Prophet building. Lily's photos were hung along the walls, and it made her proud. She had become an accomplished photographer, and was now starting to get recognition. She loved taking pictures, she loved the way the camera could capture moments. She had been with the Daily Prophet now for three years, and she loved her job. Even though she knew they printed more fiction than fact, she loved the people she worked with and all she had to do was take lovely photos.

"Lily can I see you for a minute?"

Lily whirled around, surprised by the deep voice, "y-yeah."

Lily walked nervously into her boss's office. Mark went and sat on the edge of his desk, Lily stood by the door in case she needed a quick escape. He smiled at her which caused her stomach to fill up with butterflies, "What did you need?"

"Nothing really, I was just wondering…if…maybe you'd like to gooutwithme?"

The last four words were so fast she didn't catch it, " I'm sorry?"

He smiled and took a breath, " I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out with me this Saturday?"

After Lily got over the shock she couldn't help but smile and say, "Yes."

They talked over the details, and when the plans had been made Lily left his office with a little bit of a strut.

James had half the day off today, he was home now reviewing the file they had given him early this morning. It seemed as though not a day went by without some kind of attack, or threat, this case though was more serious. The number of Death Eaters were growing, and it was up to his group to keep that number small or non-existent. James shut the file and with his wand placed it between the floorboards. He went to the kitchen to get him something to eat when he heard a **POP!**

"Prongs?" Sirius's voice rang through the house.

" In here!"

"What's up?" Sirius approached the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

"Nothing, you?"

"Uh, well, yes actually."

James turned a questioning look on his face, waiting for an explanation.

Sirius flashed his brilliant smile, " I have a date tonight, that I actually care _a lot_ about."

James snorted, " Good one."

Sirius waded up a piece of scrap parchment that was on the table and chucked it at James's head, " I'll have you know, that it's more than just physical. That's the least I can say for you and _Kristy_. " Sirius had made it clear to James before exactly what he thought of Kristy. Sirius swore up and down that all she wanted from James was his money and that what James wanted was obvious to any male who looked at her.

James grabbed the scrap piece of parchment that had landed on the counter and chucked it back at Sirius's head, "So what's this girls name?"

"Natalie." That name sounded strangely familiar to James.

"Ah, and does _Natalie know_ of your history?" James was referring to 2 years ago when Sirius was twenty and he had a reputation of love 'em and leave 'em.

" No she doesn't." Sirius said matter-of-factly.

James laughed, at which Sirius responded with, " and she won't!"

James held his hands up and shrugged, implying that _he_ wasn't going to say anything.

"So," James started, "when is this date?"

"Six."

James looked at the clock, " Don't you think you'd better get going?"

Sirius looked at the clock, jumped up, said good-bye to James and apperated away.

Lily came home and threw all her things on the sofa before going to the kitchen.

She was making her self a bowl of cereal when Natalie apperated in her living room.

"Lils?"

"In here!"

"Oh, there you are, " Natalie came into the kitchen unraveling her scarf and setting it on the chair, " so…? What happened?"

Lily got the milk out of the fridge, " Well, he called me in there and I was nervous 'cause I thought I was in trouble, right?" Natalie nodded as she sat on the chair listing intently, " and when I got in there he asked me out."

A smile busted on Natalie's face, " What did you say?!"

Lily put the milk back into the fridge and carried her bowl over to the table, " Yes."

Natalie was so happy for Lily. _Maybe she's finally getting over James._ She thought, and hoped. Lily was a nice, and unbearably sweet woman who was taken advantage of so many times. " So when are you going?"

"Saturday." Lily said in between bites.

"That's great lils, I'm really happy for you," Natalie got up from the chair, "Speaking of dates I have one as well." Natalie's smile got, if possible, bigger.

Lily put her spoon down, " With who?"

Natalie suddenly got a guilty look on her face, "No one, it doesn't matter." Natalie started to put on her scarf and coat.

Lily got up from her chair, " Natalie, who are you going out with?"

Natalie headed for the door, " No one."

Lily cut her off, " Natalie."

Natalie sighed and gave up, "Sirius."

Lily was surprised by how much that had actually hurt, " Oh, why didn't you just say so?" _I mean he's only James's best friend. _

"Because," Natalie looked down and started to fidget with her scarf, " I thought it would remind you of James and I didn't want to do that."

" Natalie, I don't care. You're going out with _Sirius _not _James_." Lily explained, " It really doesn't matter. I swear."

Natalie smiled, but it was a small one, " I'm sorry but I got to go or I'll be late, but I'll come back when its over."

Lily faked a laugh, " ok, go have fun." She encouraged her best friend.

Natalie smiled once again before apperating, leaving Lily confused and slightly hurt.

_Natalie. Natalie._ Where did he know that name? James put the file back down, it was pointless to try and do work. _Natalie._ It was starting to bug him. He was almost certain Lily had mentioned it in one of her letters- Lily. Natalie! Of course! It was Lily's best friend in school, but there was no way Sirius was with her tonight. There were thousands of Natalies around. James got off the couch and stretched when he heard a knocking at the door. He knew instantly who it was, she was the only one who ever knocked before coming in. Kristy was standing with a movie in one hand and microwave popcorn bag in the other.

Lily was bored out of her mind. She sat and read a book, but became restless. She tried playing cards but that didn't work out either. She finally decided on watching tv, but nothing good was on. In an act of desperation she grabbed a piece of parchment, a quill, and some ink and began a letter to James. She told him everything, from her excitement of a book coming out, to her worries of Natalie and Sirius and yes, she even wrote about her and Mark. She couldn't help it, but he was, after all, her best friend. She thought he deserved to know. When Lily finished the letter she sealed it up and sent Abby. Soon after Abby left Lily fell asleep on the couch, and dreamed of her date on Saturday.


	5. Secrets and Problems

Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry Potter 

Chapter 5

James 

James's arm was falling asleep, but he didn't want to move it and risk waking up Kristy. While he was contemplating, Abby flew through the open window and landed on the arm of the couch. With his free hand James took the letter. Abby flew away as he wrestled to free his right arm. When it was free he tore the envelope open, and began to read the letter. He skimmed the letter only pausing when he read the last sentence, _Saturday I have a date with the most wonderful guy…. _James re-read the sentence over and over again. He didn't like the nauseating feeling that had crept up into his stomach. He didn't know the guy, but he had already created a hatred for him. James continued reading the last bit of the letter; _Sirius and Natalie might join us for a double date. _ James left the living room and took the letter to his bedroom. He placed it underneath all the other letters in his drawer. He then sat on his bed; he was in a kind of shocked state of mind. He had always taken Lily's single life for granted; now that she was taken he knew he didn't like it. He didn't want to, but he knew that he had to let her go. _No, I wont. _He argued with himself. He jumped when he saw Sirius standing in the doorway, "Wh-what are you doing here?"

Sirius smiled, " I just got back from my date with Natalie."

James rolled his eyes, he wasn't in the mood for this, " and how did that go?"

"Brilliant." Sirius came into the room, shutting the door behind him so they wouldn't wake Kristy. There was no wrath like Kristy's when she was woken up.

"Great." James said sarcastically.

Sirius's face fell, "Something's wrong."

James nodded, " Lily's got a _boyfriend." _He spat.

Sirius leaned against the wall, " James, we've been over this hundreds of times."

James knew Sirius was fed up but he didn't quite understand, " Padfoot, I can't forget her, I _cant. _I've tried, you know that."

Sirius nodded, he knew. He was with James every step of the way; he suspected James would love her till he died, " Give up James."

The words were hard to hear, but it was the truth, " one more chance. Please."

Sirius banged his head on the wall and sighed, " What's the plan?"

James beamed.

"We have a plan?" Remus asked surprised as he opened the door.

"What are you doing?" James asked.

"I was over at Sirius's looking for him, and when I didn't find him I thought I'd check by here." Remus explained closing the door, "So why do we have a plan?"

Sirius smiled, "It's James's last attempt to get Lily."

Remus gave James a disbelieving look, "Not again." He groaned.

James snatched his wand from his back pocket and threw a hex at Remus. It hit him in the leg, "Ouch!" Remus drew his wand but stopped when the door opened for a third time. Kristy came in rubbing her eyes, " Jamie." She whispered.

Sirius groan and hit his head against the wall again. Remus smiled at her weakly.

James sighed and got up. He turned her around and shut the door behind him. As he walked away with her, he could hear Remus and Sirius dueling. James put his hand on the back of Kristy and maneuvered her around the furniture; he laid her back down and covered her up with a blanket. Her eyes were drooping, so it was only a matter of time before he could return to his room. He sat on the end of the couch by her feet. When he knew she was back asleep he got back up and headed for his room. When he opened the door a blue light whizzed past his head, "Hey!"

The two grown men stopped and laughed. "Sorry mate." Remus said.

"James if I wake up in the middle of the night, will you be there to put me back to bed?" Sirius mocked Kristy's girlish tone. Remus couldn't hold his laugh back as Sirius batted his eyes. "Shut up." James spat sitting on his bed.

"So explain to me why you want Lily when you have Kristy in the other room?" Remus asked. He knew this couldn't be good.

"Because Moony, he's in _love_." Sirius said the word in the girly voice again, which scared James tremendously.

"Listen James, you know what you're doing is called cheating." Remus stated the obvious.

James rolled on his back and closed his eyes, " I know, I know."

"So what's the plan?" Sirius asked.

Remus gave him the disbelieving look.

"What?" Sirius asked innocently, " You know I don't like Kristy."

James pinched the bridge between his eyes, "Yes, yes. We all know."

"Nobody cares what you think. You have nothing to do with _their_ relationship." Remus argued.

"Ah, but I do have something to do with Lily and James." Sirius had a mischievous grin on his face.

James sprang up, "What?"

"I happen to be dating Lily's other best friend, Natalie." Sirius seemed pleased with himself.

"Oh god." Remus put his hand on his forehead.

"Listen." James jumped off the bed and ran to his dresser, he pulled out the letter, " Lily mentioned that you guys might double date."

"Ok…so what you want me to spy for you or something?" Sirius wasn't quite sure where this was going.

"No. I want to be there." James stated.

"What?"

"What if that night you say that you had plans to go out with me and Kristy and that they could come along if they wanted." James suggested.

"Ok? How does that help you any?" Remus asked still slightly confused.

"Well, I want to be there to make sure he keeps his hands to himself."

"You want to be there to ruin the date." Sirius clarified.

"Well…yeah." James confessed.

Remus shook his head, " This is going to bad, this is going to be real bad."

Somewhat reluctantly Remus joined in on helping with the plan to ruin the date.

Lily 

Lily woke to someone shaking her. Unwillingly she opened her eyes. She jumped when she saw Natalie's face so close to hers, "What's going on?" Her voice was heavy with sleep.

"Nothing, other than the fact that I just finished the most incredible date of my life!" Natalie was glowing.

Lily slowly sat up, Natalie sat across from her on the coffee table, "So how was it?" Lily scratched her head.

"Ahh, it was so good." Natalie busted into detail about the date. When she finished all Lily could think of to say was, "I'm happy for you." Lily smiled her best smile.

Natalie thanked her, " how was your evening?"

Lily looked around her, " You're looking at it."

Natalie nodded, "looks exciting."

Lily laughed, " I suppose so."

"Well, what all did you do?" Natalie got up from the coffee table and took off her scarf and coat.

"Nothing really, I read a little and watch tv a little and wrote to James." Lily was hoping Natalie wouldn't pick up on the last part, but she did.

"What did you write about?" Natalie returned with a concerned look on her face.

" Not much, a little of everything."

"Mark?"

"Yeah."

Natalie sighed, " I know it hurts, but it'll get better. It's like a bruise, its got to get worse before it gets better."

Lily nodded; she tried not to let Natalie see the tears forming in her eyes, " You staying tonight?"

"If its ok?"

Lily nodded again and got up to get a blanket and pillow.

When Lily opened the closet the blankets spilled on the floor. Lily bent down to pick them up and found the box she had hidden there. It was marked, _School_. But really it was all of her and James. After graduation she had packed everything from school, mostly pictures and little notes, into this box. Along with everything James had given her or that reminded her of him. She thought it best to put them away and try to move on, it helped. Lily pushed the box back further and placed every blanket except one back on the shelf. She closed the closet door and handed the pillow and blanket to Natalie before leaving to get ready for bed.

"Are we doing that double date thing?" Lily asked the next day when Natalie appeared in her doorway after work.

"I asked Sirius and he said he's like to." Natalie responded.

"I'll run the idea by Mark." Lily said. Natalie nodded and left.

Lily wrote the idea to Mark and had Abby take it to him. When Abby returned she had his reply.

Saturday 

"Lils? Lily?" Natalie yelled.

"I'm almost ready!" Lily yelled back. Lily ran to her wall length mirror. She looked ok; she wore a simple black dress. She like the way it made her look sophisticated. She wore her hair up, but then thought against it and pulled it back down. She wore little make-up, only enough to enhance what she already had.

"Lily!"

Lily stumbled out of her room, trying to put on her high heels, " I'm coming!"

When she got them on she straightened out the bottom of her dress which came down to just above her knee, "How do I look."

"Lovely. Now can we go? We were supposed to meet them thirty minutes ago." Natalie gestured to the door.

"Yes, yes alright. Wait! Hold on I forgot something!" Lily ran, as fast as she could, back to her room. Natalie threw her arms down in frustration. Lily sprayed herself with her perfume. Then ran back to the living room where Natalie waited with the door open.

Lily snatched her purse from the couch on their way out the door.

The restaurant 

_6:35. _ They were supposed to be here already. James was starting to get nervous. He began to mess with his napkin.

"Jamie?" Kristy's voice rang out, "Are you ok?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." He quit and placed his hands in his lap.

Sirius who was on his right side leaned over, " I don't mean to be mean, but could you please _stop! _You're making _me_ nervous." Sirius harsh tone was barely above a whisper.

"Sorry," James sighed.

James looked to his left and smiled at Kristy who smiled in return.

James looked down and tried to calm his nerves. He looked up and did a double take. Lily had just walked in with Natalie and some guy who he imagined was Mark.

_She's so pretty. _He thought he stood up when they came over, Sirius must of heard his thought because he elbowed him and smiled. When Lily approached the table, he could tell she wasn't expecting him to be there. Her eyes got big and she had a look of shock on her face. But soon the look was replaced with a huge smile and she came around the table to hug him. He couldn't help the smile that took over his face, or the warmth that soon came over him, "Hey Lily."

"Hey yourself." She joked.

She then turned to hug Sirius, she nodded at Kristy and said hello. She introduced Mark, Natalie sat down in front of Sirius, Mark sat down in front of Kristy, which Lily thought was a little suspicious, the only seat left was in front of James.

The lights of the restaurant were dimmed; they had candles on the three tables that were pushed together to make room for everyone. There was small talk that was going on, but all James seemed able to do was stare at Lily. She must have noticed because she smiled and he thought he could see her blush in the candlelight. He loved the way the candlelight made her look; there was a faint glow around her face, and even though it was dark he could make out the red of her hair. Her green eyes shone brightly, and a couple of times he was mesmerized by them. James couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger when Mark stole her attention, but every now and then they'd make eye contact and all his feelings for her would come rushing back.

Kristy was babbling in his ear, but James didn't hear a word of it. His attention was on Lily, who was engrossed in a conversation with Mark. He watched her smile and listen intently and he couldn't help the jealous feeling that began to take over. He put his fork down and quit eating, the feeling made him sick to his stomach. James adverted his attention to Kristy every once in a while to make her think he was listening to every word.

Lily was leaned over towards Mark; their faces were inches apart. James's hands, which were on the table, closed into fists.

Sirius noticed this, "James! Calm down!" He hissed.

James relaxed his fists but his jaw was still tightened.

"Hon, why don't we go out for some fresh air?" James voice was harsh, but Kristy got up and followed him out.

Once they were outside James pulled her over to a bench and sat down.

Kristy got up and walked over in front of him, leaning on the railing, " Baby, what's wrong?" When he didn't answer Kristy walked over and knelt in front of him, " Baby, you don't look so good." She put her hand on his forehead, then both his cheeks. "Honey I think we need to get you home." James agreed, he just wanted to get out of there.

Kristy walked back inside to get her purse and say goodbye to the others. Sirius came out and looked around until he saw James.

"What happened in there?"

James couldn't say anything, he just shook his head.

"Listen mate, I know that's not exactly what you wanted to see in there, but she's happy. Doesn't she deserve that?"

James still didn't answer.

"So I guess the plan is off?"

James simply nodded; he was oozing with rage right now. All he wanted was to be by himself.

"Listen, don't do anything stupid tonight. Ok?"

James nodded again and Sirius hit him on the shoulder and went back inside.

"Bye Sirius!" Kristy said with her bubbly personality. Sirius simply waved before going back inside.

"Ok, you ready?" Kristy asked as she approached him.

"Yeah." James whispered.

James 

James unlocked his door and stepped inside.

"What are we going to do tonight?"

"Kristy, actually I'm really tired and I just want to go to bed."

Kristy looked a little hurt but she kissed him on the cheek before leaving.

When she was gone James dragged himself to his room. He sat on his bed and stared at the floor. This was it. Tonight was the night he finally let go. He waved his wand and the CD player played a sad slow song. He dimmed the lights and took out all her letters, photos, and little things that reminded him of her. He sat in the floor, leaning his back on his bed, a bottle of Fire Whiskey next to him and everything spread out on the floor. He went through everything, one piece at a time. The pain that resided in him was beginning to get unbearable, so much so that tears began to brim his eyes. He let his mind wonder to the memories of what it was like between them and even let his mind think of what could have been. He took a swig from the bottle and sat it back down again. James was never the kind to let his feelings show, he was supposed to be strong, he was supposed to be able to handle anything. He was an Auror for god's sake!

When the song had played for the hundredth time, and the only thing left in the bottle was a single drop, James packed everything up and placed it at the back of his closet. He covered the box so it wasn't visible. He then crashed on his bed, and though he would never admit it, he cried.

Lily 

Lily looked up to see James storm off. She turned to Natalie who shrugged her shoulders, and then to Sirius who had a grave look on his face. Sirius said something to Natalie and left. Lily turned to Mark, "Excuse us for a second."

She pulled Natalie to the bathroom. Once they were safely inside she looked at Natalie, " What was that about?"

"I have no idea. I think it was Kristy." Natalie honestly didn't know. That was the only solution she could think of.

"No," Lily thought, " There was something else. You know James, he wouldn't make a scene like that over nothing."

"Did _you_ say anything?" Natalie questioned.

"No! Did _you_?"

"No."

They stood there for a moment, "We'd better go back, Mark's by himself."

Natalie followed Lily back to the table.

Sirius returned and they all went back to what they were doing.

Lily and Mark were in their own little world for a minute, until Sirius's voice came in, "You guys ready?"

They paid for their meals and left.

Lily thanked Mark and went home, with her heart a little confused.

Natalie and Sirius 

"Sirius, What happened?" Natalie asked once she was in his car. Sirius had one to be inconspicuous to his muggle neighbors.

Sirius started the engine, " Nothing."

"Please tell me." She pleaded.

"I can't." He pulled out of the parking spot and got on the main road.

"Please…" She begged.

" I really can't." He would do that to James.

"James likes Lily doesn't he?" She asked.

"Wh-what? N-no. no." He stumbled around with his words.

"Aww, he does!" Natalie smiled.

"You can't say _anything_." Sirius sighed, giving up.

"Lily likes him too." She replied.

"I thought as much, but it's too late." Sirius said, his face free of expression.

"What? What do you mean?" Natalie turned so her back was more towards the car door.

"James is going to ask Kristy to marry him." She could tell he wasn't happy about it.

"Why?" Natalie had only met that girl but she didn't like her, it could've been that the girl was annoying. Or it could've been the fact that Lily was her best friend who just happened to like the girls' boyfriend.

"Exactly what I asked, but he swears he loves her." Sirius snorted.

"We've got to stop this and say something." Natalie couldn't let Lily find out about this, she knew it would kill her. No matter how much she liked Mark.

"We can't!" Sirius's tone was harsh.

"Why the hell not?" Natalie snapped.

"Because one, it isn't our place. Two, maybe James is really in love with her, and Three you aren't supposed to know about this anyway, but more importantly he made me swear never to tell."

"Sirius, I hardly think the pinky swear counts when your best friend and my best friend could ruin their lives."

"We can't! Now promise me you wont say anything!" She could tell he was serious and that there had to be more to the story than he was letting on. Reluctantly she agreed.


	6. Weddings and Heartbreaks

AN: Ok, here is where the story is going to take shape, and get better. P.S. I couldn't think of what to call the Jewelry dealers so I called them helpers, you know what I mean. Ha ha. Also there were 5 different word translations for prophet in Italian and 7 for daily so I just picked one.

**Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry Potter!**

Chapter 6

: James:

James stumbled numbly through the streets of Diagonal Alley. He knew why he was here, but part of him was still wondering. Was he sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Kristy? Did he _really_ know what he was doing? _Yes, yes I do. _He repeated the words over and over to convince himself of this. He was so consumed in his thoughts; he passed the jewelers shop and had to back up. When he walked in he was hounded by the helpers. James wasn't exactly sure of what he wanted; all he knew was that he needed an engagement ring. He wasn't sure of what cut, color, all he wanted was a ring. The Jeweler helped him pick out a good ring, which he boxed up and gave to James. When James got home he sat and stared at the box. He watched the way it glittered and shimmered in the light. He was sure she would like it, and positive she would say yes. Though, secretly, there was a tiny part of him that wished she wouldn't. _Lily doesn't love you!_ He had to get her out of his system. This wasn't about Lily, this was about him and Kristy. _Would I be marrying her if Lily didn't have a boyfriend?_ _Yes! _ There was one question that still haunted him, one that he couldn't escape. -Was he still in love with Lily? He didn't have time to think about it, there was a knock at the door. He closed the box, and put it in his pocket before answering. He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes, "Hey."

Kristy bounced in and gave a big hug, " Hey."

He shut the door as she walked in and sat on the couch, "So what's up? I got your message urging me to come and see you."

He walked over to where she was sitting. "There's something I need to ask you."

: Lily:

Lily looked at the photos she had on her desk. She selected the best ones, then arranged them in order. There was a knock on her office door, "Come in!"

Mark opened the door and stepped in closing it behind him. Lily was preoccupied with the photos that she didn't realize it was him. He walked over to her desk, " Are you too busy?"

She glanced up, "No." she smiled sweetly when she saw him.

He returned the smile and sat down in a chair in front of her desk, "Listen there's something I have to talk to you about."

"Ok?" Lily was placing the photos in a pile.

"Our sister paper, Quotidiano Profeta, in Italy needs a photographer." Lily sat up straighter when she heard this, it kind of worried her, "I faxed everyone's papers over and they want you."

Lily couldn't help the twinge of panic that settled in the pit of her stomach, "What?"

"They want to hire you, triple what I'm paying you," His face grew instantly serious, " Lily as boss I'm telling you to go, as a friend I'm begging you to stay."

Lily felt dizzy, "Wh-what?"

He sighed and stood up, "They want you to work for their paper. They got a hold of some of your pictures and they liked them a great deal. They want you to move over there and shoot for them, their willing to pay you triple." He leaned against the wall, a pained expression on his face.

Lily sat in shock for a few minutes, "How long?"

"I'm sorry?"

"How long do I have to give them an answer?" Her monotone voice shook.

"Six months, I thought I'd tell you now so you'd have time to prepare if you accepted the job." He wouldn't look at her.

"Thank you." Was all she could muster.

"I'll leave you alone with your thoughts." He walked swiftly out the door.

Lily stared at the framed photo in front of her. It was of Venice, beautiful houses on top of the water, a peaceful atmosphere. Lily put her head down on the desk.

Later that night Natalie came over to Lily's apartment, "What's wrong?"

Lily was in tears when she had called Natalie, " They want me to take a job in Italy!"

Natalie dropped the keys that she had held in her hands, "Why?"

"They liked my pictures. They're going to pay me triple! I don't want to leave!" The words came out in a rush.

"You don't speak Italian!"

"I know. I know." Lily couldn't help but let the tears that were forming again fall.

"Ok, ok calm down. We'll figure this out."

Once Natalie calmed herself down, she got Lily to calm down also.

"How long before you have to let them know?"

"Six months." Lily sighed.

Natalie sighed with relief, though she knew the next six months would fly by , "what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything."

"How did Mark take the news?"

"He couldn't even look at me, he said, 'as a friend I'm telling you to stay but as a boss I'm telling you to go.'"

Natalie nodded, "Have you told anyone else?"

Lily shook her head; "I've got to owl my parents, sister, you know already."

"Are you going to tell James?" Natalie regretted saying that.

"I'll have to," That was going to be the hardest thing she's ever have to do, "Listen I got to go to the store. I'll catch up with you later." Lily stood.

Natalie stood also, "Ok, well I'll be with Sirius if you need me."

"Ok."

: Store:

Lily walked out of the local store; she wasn't watching where she was going. She had a lot on her mind. She smacked hard into someone, "Oh! I'm so sorry!" She stammered as she gathered up her items and put them back into the bag.

"Its ok Lily."

She looked up, "James!"

: James's House:

Lily followed James home after he had suggested it.

"James, you'll never guess what happened to me today." She said when she walked through the door.

"What?" He asked shutting the door behind him.

"I got a job offer in Italy!" She had become a little accustomed to the idea of living in another country. She'd thought about all the positive sides of taking the job in the store, and realized how great it could actually be, though she seriously doubted she would ever take the offer.

James's mouth fell open, "Are you going to take it?"

"I'm not sure yet, most likely no."

James seemed relieved and slightly pleased by that answer, "Well, I've got some new too."

Lily waited patiently, as he fiddled with papers on the table in front of him, " I'm engaged."

Lily wasn't expecting that. To say that she was shocked would be an understatement. Lily felt her stomach drop, she felt like some had knocked all the air from her lungs. Lily was blown away; she couldn't say anything. She stood there staring at him and then the floor, when she found her voice again she spoke barely above a whisper, "How long?"

"Just today." She studied his face, he didn't look happy, like he was supposed to.

She nodded, but became dizzy; this was too much too soon. She started to stagger.

"Are you ok?" He was worried.

"I-I think." She mumbled. She wanted to leave, she wanted to wake up from this nightmare she was having.

He stared at her; afraid she was going to fall over, which she thought was very possible right now.

"I need to go," Her voice shook; she knew she was on the verge of tears, "I promised Natalie I would meet her." She lied.

"Ok, well I'll see you later then?" He asked walking with her all the way to the door.

She nodded, when his door closed, she bolted for home. As soon as she was safe in her apartment, she balled her eyes out. She decided then and there that she _was_ going to Italy. There was obviously no way she would have James, she had to get out, she had to leave. She dried her eyes, she needed to talk to someone, she needed to find Natalie.

She got up and left. She vaguely remembered where Sirius lived, but she knew once she got close she would find it, and she did. She ran up the stairs to his flat. She banged on the number that the clerk downstairs told her. Sirius answered looking flustered. Lily didn't waste time, "Where's Natalie?"

"Lily?" Natalie came into view.

Lily pushed past Sirius, "James is getting married!"

Natalie's face fell, "I know."

"Y-you knew? You knew and you didn't tell me?" Lily raised her voice.

Natalie flinched, "I only found out Saturday! I was sworn not to say anything!"

This time Lily did fall, her knees buckled but Natalie caught her. Lily hugged Natalie and cried. Sirius who was scared to move left the two alone. Lily knew Natalie had nothing to do with this and she immediately felt bad for yelling at her. When she had calmed down enough she let Natalie go. She took a step back and whipped both eyes, "I made up my mind. I'm going to Italy."

"I had a feeling that you would when you found out." Natalie wished she wouldn't, "I don't want to lose my best friend. Can't you stay? To hell with James, stay."

Lily shook her head, "It'd only be a constant reminder."

"Moving would be a constant reminder!" Natalie argued.

"Just, just give me a few months. Think of it as if I'm on vacation. If I don't like it, I'll quit and come back home." Lily suggested.

"I guess." Natalie hated the thought of her losing her best friend, but she knew that this was what Lily needed.

Lily hugged her again, "I'd better get home, sorry to interrupt."

Natalie just laughed.

Sirius had come back and opened the door for her, "Sorry." She whispered on her way past him. He smiled and hugged her.

: Six Months Later:

Lily had packed her things the day before; they now were by the door. Lily had decided not to sell her apartment; instead Natalie would come by and check on it for her.

Lily walked in front of the wall length mirror. She was wearing a skirt with a matching shirt. She had her hair pulled back into a half ponytail. She wore little makeup, but she thought she looked appropriate. Lily was supposed to go to Natalie's house before the wedding. The last six months had flown by, she hadn't seen or heard from James much. Which was understandable with all the wedding plans. The rehearsal dinner had gone good, she didn't exactly have fun, but did she expect to? She grabbed her purse and appearated to Natalie's. Natalie was almost ready; she was putting on her shoes when Lily showed up. Lily sat at Natalie's kitchen table, Natalie joined her. Lily couldn't help the feeling of regret, sadness; she thought she'd be numb by all the pain. Natalie noticed, "Lily."

"It hurts." Lily said between sobs, "I'm sorry," she said trying to regain herself, "I know I must be pathetic to look at." She tried to laugh, but it didn't quite work.

Natalie's smile was weak, " It can't be easy. You really love him."

"I do."

"Then say something."

Lily looked at Natalie like she was crazy, " You can't be serious. He's getting married!"

"So."

Lily's face scrunched up, " I would only make a fool of myself, he's obviously not in love with me or he wouldn't have gotten _engaged_ to her!"

"He loves you."

Lily snorted, "Oh, really. Is that what's been going on for the past twelve years?"

"Lily, when you know someone is going to make the biggest mistake of their lives, wouldn't you jump in and stop them?"

"Natalie, he is in _love_ with her! What part of that do you not understand?"

" You love him too! Don't you deserve some kind of joy in your life also?" In all the years Natalie had known Lily, Lily had always taken care of everyone else; she rarely did something for herself. Natalie thought Lily deserved to have love, especially true love, and she knew Lily had found that in James.

"I can't" Lily sighed and covered her face with her hands.

Natalie sighed also and glanced at the clock, "We'd better get going."

Lily tried to protest, but then thought better of it. James was her best friend and she was going to be there for him no matter what. All the way to the church Lily's stomach knotted, her palms began to sweat and she couldn't stop shaking. When they finally arrived, Natalie and Lily got out of the car. They walked up the stairs and into the brightly lit church, the decorations screamed Kristy, but it was pretty. Lily's eyes searched the full church, but didn't see who she was hoping to see. Sirius came up behind Natalie and wrapped his arm around her waist holding her close. Natalie looked up and had a fantastic smile on her face Sirius's smile matched hers, they looked so happy. Lily had to look away; as she did she spotted Remus coming towards them. Lily thanked god and walked the rest of the way to talk to him, "Hey."

He smiled politely, "Hi."

"How's everything?"

"Good, good. We should be able to get the show started in a little bit."

Lily nodded, "That's good."

"Yeah," he said closing the gap between them and Natalie and Remus, " Oh, Lily, by the way James wanted to see you."

Natalie and Sirius both looked at her. She shrugged to them, then turned to Remus, "Where's he at?"

Remus gave her directions to the room in which James was getting ready. She thanked him and walked slowly towards the stairs. Natalie was close behind her. Lily stopped at the bottom of the stairs, "I can't do this."

"Lily, let me ask you a question. What would hurt worse, saying something and wishing you hadn't? Or saying _nothing_ and wishing you had?"

Lily sighed and brought her hand to her forehead.

"Go." Natalie gave her a little push, and she slowly began the climb up the stairs.

When she reached the door she raised her hand to knock, but hesitated. _Lily get a hold of yourself!_ She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, when she was ready she knocked on the door. "Come in!" She turned the knob and with her stomach twisting back into knots she walked in.

"Hey." She said quietly.

"Hey!" He turned around to face her. He flashed his smile that she couldn't resist, "Would you mind?" he pointed to his tie that wasn't tied.

She laughed softly and crossed the room her fingers trembled as she began to tie it. She was so close to him that she could feel the warmth coming off of him. When she finished she patted it into place, took a step back and smiled, "There."

"Thanks." He couldn't take his off of her for one second. Being that close to her both thrilled and pained him. There was something she needed to say, he could tell by the look on her face. Her eyebrows bunched together and she looked as if she was fighting for words.

"James."

"Yes?"

"Do you love her?"

He was bewildered for a moment but he responded, "What?"

She took a deep breath, "Do you love her?" She spoke each word clearly.

"Yes."

Lily nodded, tears now brimmed her eyes. _Don't cry! Don't cry!_ " Are you positive. Marriage isn't they kind of thing you go into half way."

"Lily, what's going on?" James was getting a little concerned, had Kristy done something that he didn't know of?

This was it, the moment she'd waited for all her life, "I-I….I-James…I love you."

James was shocked, he couldn't move, he could barely breath.

When he found his voice again he spoke, "Why are you telling me this _now_?" He had waited years to hear her say that, but now was not the time. He was getting married in a couple minutes!!

"I thought you'd like to know why I took the job."

James didn't want her to see the tears that threatened to escape so he turned his back to her and looked out the window. This nearly killed Lily; tears now flowed freely down her face. "So that's it then? You're going to pack up and leave? " James's voice was harsh, but it was nothing to the pain which now consumed him.

"I need to fall out of love with you. Please don't write or call or anything. It has to be a clean break other wise it'll just be harder." The words came through broken sobs and were almost impossible to say.

"Will I ever see you again?" James's face was stained with tears , this was his biggest fear and now it was coming true.

Lily didn't have time to answer, Sirius came through the door, "James…" he stopped when he saw the scene before him but he didn't linger, " you have ten minutes." He left quickly and quietly shut the door behind him.

Lily headed for the door, but James grabbed her arm, "Lily."

"James, let me go. My plane leaves in two hours, and I've embarrassed myself enough for one day." She tried to break his hold on her but it was next to impossible. The muscles Auror training had giving him were now clearly visible, "James," fresh tears were falling, "please, just… let… me… go." She pleaded.

James hated seeing Lily this way; even though his mind told him to be furious with her his heart told him something different. His heart which was breaking into two right before her eyes, told him that if he loved her he had to let her go, if she came back to him then it was meant to be. With that he let go of her arm and watched her make a run for the door, she fumbled with the door knob before opening it and running out of his life.

: Lily:

Lily ran back down the stairs and ran behind the pews that were facing the altar. She almost made it to the door but Natalie stopped her, "What happened?"

"I'm leaving." Lily tried to get past Natalie but she wasn't having it.

"Don't do this. Please." Natalie begged, she knew that asking Lily to stay for the ceremony was out of the question.

"My plane leaves in two hours." Lily said whipping her eyes.

"Can I at least tell you good-bye?" Natalie now had tears brimming her eyes.

Lily hugged her tightly, said good-bye and, "I'll floo you as soon as I get there!"

Natalie whipped her eyes and nodded, she hugged Lily once more and watched her bust through the oak doors.

She ran out the doors and down the steps, startling several people. She quickly ran to the side of the church and apparated to her apartment. She grabbed her luggage and caught a cab to the airport. Lily didn't stop running, and her stomach didn't settle until she was safely on the plane. Lily had never felt worse in her entire life, her head was throbbing, her muscles were aching, her hands were still sweaty, and to make matters worse she still had a few tears in her. _Sleep._ She soothed herself _Just sleep, when you wake up everything will be all right._ She closed her red, puffy sore eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

: James:

The ceremony had started and it was breathtaking. James stood at the altar and watched as his bride came down the pink carpet, one of many things he didn't like about the wedding, she was beautiful, there was no denying that. When she reached him James took her arm from her fathers and they turned to the priest. After a few words they turned to face each other, _what are you doing?_ James thought. _Why didn't you go after her?_ James tried to push those thoughts away but the kept coming back. James quickly scanned the pews but he didn't see her anywhere. When he spotted Natalie she caught his eye and shrugged. The look on her face told James that Lily wasn't there. He felt someone squeeze his hand, his head snapped back towards Kristy who smiled and raised her eyebrows. James stood in confusion for a minute until the priest repeated his words, "Do you James Potter take Kristy Abbott to be your lawful wedded wife?"

James took a breath, looked into Kristy's eyes, "I…."

AN: The scene in James's dressing room was the scene I wrote this whole story for, so I hope you liked it, the next chapter is coming soon! P.S. Sorry to leave you hanging!


	7. planes and love

AN: I'm not entirely happy with the story, I might go back and rewrite some things, change some things, but let me know what you think so far. Thanks!

**Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry Potter!!**

Chapter 7

**: James:**

James was racing down the stone steps in front of the church, Sirius, Remus, and Natalie were close behind him. He stopped at the bottom only to wait for them to catch up.

"Where is she going?" he demanded.

"She's going to Brinkman's airport, her flight leaves in less than forty-five minutes!" Natalie was ready to give him any information she had. James broke off into another run, he ran out into the street and got a cab, the other three were on his heels. They all piled into the car, " Brinkman's airport!" James yelled. The cab driver knew from James's tone that they were in a hurry. He gassed the car and they were off. When the airport was in view, James didn't wait for the car to stop, he jumped out and ran into the airport. Natalie threw money at the driver and took off after Sirius and Remus who were running after James. James paused for a second, only to get her gate number, then he was off. Sirius was right behind him, but Remus stayed behind to double check the gate number before running to catch up, Natalie close behind him. James ran as if his life depended on it, which it did. The faces of the people around him blended together in a blur. When he reached the gate the door was closed. _No!_ "No! No, no. No!" James yelled. He turned to the window and saw her plane taking off. Then in and instant it was gone. James hit the wall in frustration. _This can't be happening! _ Just then the other three came to a screeching halt behind him.

"Oh no!" Natalie sighed in frustration.

Sirius rubbed his hand over his face, "I'm sorry mate." He was out of breath.

"James." Remus had his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.

James had taken off again, this time no one followed.

**: Lily:**

The rain beat hard against the windows of her new apartment. It was very strange to be in a new country with a new job and a new apartment. Lily was still unpacking; she had just got out of the shower and had put on pajama pants with a matching tank top. She went to the kitchen and made herself some cereal. She sat on the couch, her knees close to her chest, while she ate her food. Lighting flashed and thunder rolled, causing her to jump and almost spill her food. She looked around the room, it was dark, the power had been knocked out. She had candles placed around the room. Half the room was still in boxes and the other half was full of piles of books, photographs of family, and little knickknacks. There was a sudden knock at the door. She put her bowl down on the coffee table and stood up. She figured it was the attendant downstairs checking up on her. She opened the door and gasped at what she saw.

James stood dripping wet, with both hands on either side of the doorframe. He had his head down and was leaning forward.

"James?!"

He picked his head up and smiled, "I love you Lily. I always have, and I always will." He was out of breath. He didn't wait for her to respond, he walked right up to her and kissed her passionately. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. When Lily got over the shock of James kissing her, she kissed back. James picked Lily up and pressed her against the wall. Lily's hands wound themselves in his hair; her legs were locked around his waist. They broke the kiss to breath but their faces stayed close. Lily looked into his eyes, " I can't seem to get enough of you. I want you to know that I love you, with every breath in my body, I love you."

James carried her over to the door and kicked it shut, then he carried her to her room. He put her down and ran his hands through her hair. Lily placed her hand on his cheek, her thumb lightly caressed it. He placed his hand on top of hers, then gently he slide her hand to his mouth and kissed every finger. She claimed his mouth with hers and James ran his hands up and down her sides. James moved down to her neck, and Lily slipped her hands under his shirt. James stopped and let Lily tug off his shirt, throwing it on the floor. James held the end of Lily's top and carefully lifted it off of her. His hands roamed her body and the muscles in the pit of Lily's stomach began to tighten. She was suddenly over come by a longing and a desire she hadn't known before. Lily reached for his pants, but hesitated. James's forehead touched hers, "We don't have to do this."

"I'm sorry," She breathed as her hands wound their way around him, " It's just, I wasn't planning on doing this until marriage."

James's hands rubbed her back, "It's ok." He kissed the top of her head and held her a little longer.

Lily tilted her head up and stood on her tiptoes before pressing her lips to his. James shivered, and Lily pulled away, "hold on." She crossed the room and picked up her wand, she pointed it to James and did a drying spell. She put her wand back down and went back over to him, on the way she picked her top back up and put it back on. She then closed the distance between them. One of James's hands rested on the lower half of her back, the other stroked her hair. "That's better." They stayed like that for an immeasurable amount of time. Lily yawned and James's voice broke the silence, " You tired?"

Lily shook her head; she didn't want to fall asleep, she didn't want to miss anything. James saw through her pretenses and picked her up and put her into her bed.

"Don't go." He could hear how tired she was in her voice. He lifted the covers on the other side of her and crawled in. Lily scooted over, "Spoon me."

James chuckled quietly and wrapped his arm around her, bringing her closer to him. Lily fell asleep instantly. James on the other hand stayed awake watching her. He looked at her face, which was highlighted by the moonlight. There was no doubt in his mind that he had made the right decision. With that thought, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

The sunlight cracked through the curtains waking James. He reluctantly opened his eyes, the clock on the nightstand said it was 11:10. James groaned, he was always one to sleep in. He rolled over and found that he was alone. There was a note in the spot where she had been.

_Dear James,_

_I'm sorry to not be there when you wake, but I start my job today. Make yourself at home, if you need anything the boxes are labeled. I'll be home soon._

_Love you, Lily_

James smiled; he couldn't hide the thrill that shot through him at the word _love._

He closed his eyes and rolled on his stomach. He could still smell her shampoo on the pillow. He tried, but couldn't get back to sleep. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He got out of bed, found his shirt and put it back on. He then made his way into the kitchen. While he was making his breakfast he remembered that since he left in such a rush, he didn't bring anything with him. On his way back into the living room he stubbed his toe on a box and almost fell. He looked at it and it was labeled _School_. He didn't think Lily would mind so he opened the box. He was fascinated at all the pictures she had of them. He spent the rest of the day looking at pictures, letters and little things he had given her over the years.

Lily came home and found him looking at the box; a surge of panic ran through her, she'd kept that box private for five years and now someone was looking through it. Not just anyone, but James. Lily's feeling of panic left her immediately when she saw James look up at her and smile a crooked smile. He stood up and she quickly came over to him and hugged him. He held her head in his hands before leaning down and kissing her.

"How was your day?" she asked when James had given her, her lips back.

"Terrible."

"Why?" she questioned.

"Because I haven't seen you at all today." He answered, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

She smiled, "I know what you mean." She leaned up and kissed him.

"There is something we need to discuss though." He said.

"What?"

"I have absolutely nothing with me." He flashed a smile that made her slightly weak at her knees.

"What are you going to do?" Lily didn't want him to leave; everything was just now coming together.

"I'm going to have to go back soon, I can't take off too many days from work."

"What are you saying? Are you going to move here or…?"

"Lily, come home. Live with me." James pleaded.

"Leave? I just got here! You want me to just pack everything up and come home? Just like that?" Lily couldn't keep up with his spontaneity.

"Please."

Lily hated when he did this, how could she say no to him? "I can't believe I'm doing this.." Lily groaned. James smile touched his ears; he grabbed her and spun her around. She laughed and held on tight. He put her back down but didn't let go, " I love you."

Her heart skipped a beat, " I love you too."


	8. Moving In

AN: Thanks to everyone who helped me with my writer's block!! I love you guys!! Also I've noticed how I have this thing for kitchens, I keep mentioning them in the kitchen or at a table, lol. P.S. I decided _not_ to change anything, I don't want to mess it up. Ok so on with the story….

**Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry Potter!!**

Chapter 8

Lily sat on the plane beside James. He held her hand, and kissed it every once in a while.

Lily thought about the events of the past couple days, she sighed, but smiled. James caught her eye, "what?"

"Nothing," she looked at him, " Its just…I cant believe I'm here…with you."

"I know _exactly_ what you mean." His hands cupped her face, her face broke out into a smile, and he leaned in and kissed her softly.

"Sirius is coming by tomorrow to help move your stuff into my flat." James still held her hand in his.

"Are you sure you have enough space?" Lily rested her head on his shoulder.

"I have plenty of space, don't worry." There would always be room for her at his flat.

Lily closed her eyes and breathed in the sent of him. Truth be told, being this close to him drove her crazy. The thought of him did things to her, she couldn't help but think of ways to touch him and be around him all the time. She wondered if he would ever really understand how much she loved him.

She must have dozed off, because soon James was shaking her gently. Lily sat up quickly.

"Baby, we're here."

Lily nodded and rubbed the spot on her face that had been pressed to his shoulder. After a few more minutes the planed emptied. Lily and James got Lily's luggage and walked outside. They would have apparated but there were many muggles around.

Remus stood against a car waiting for them. James had flooed him the other day and explained they would need a way home. Remus greeted them and got in the front seat. Lily got in the back and scooted over when James climbed back there with her. James put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. He kissed the top of her head. He couldn't stop touching her. He didn't want to, he waited so many years to be able to do this and he was going to.

Remus pulled up and let them out. James went to the trunk to get Lily's things as she said good-bye to Remus. James sat her things on the sidewalk and spoke to Remus. Moony blew the horn as he drove off. James picked up some things and Lily picked up the rest, looking around them carefully the apparated.

Once in his flat, they sat the bags down. Lily looked around; this was going to be her home. It was a beautiful place, it was very big, but it lacked the little things that made it a _home_. You could tell that it was a bachelors flat.

"Well, " James said looking at her, "What do you think?"

" I think," Lily had to choose her words carefully she didn't want to scare him with changing everything in the place, "that I'm going to be happy here."

"I hope so."

" I will, its just…we might have to change _some_ things." Lily hoped he wouldn't take it the wrong way, " You know, with my things here too."

James just shrugged, he didn't really care, he wasn't one who obsessed over material things.

"You hungry?" He asked heading for the kitchen.

"Yeah, actually." She followed.

After they ate, they went to the living room to watch a movie. Lily lay with her head in his lap. He rubbed her back. It was getting late and there was one thing they hadn't discussed. Where was she going to sleep? Was there another room? Or did he expect her to sleep in the same bed as him? She wouldn't mind really if they shared a room. She lifted her head up to look at him, "James?"

"Hmm?" He looked down at her.

"Where am I going to sleep?"

"I was…kind of…thinking-that maybe…" He was so nervous; he couldn't get the words out, " you could sleep…with me?" He held his breath, he was afraid she would blow up on him.

"Ok." She said laying back down.

He sighed with relief. By the end of the movie Lily was asleep, he carefully picked her up and carried her to his room. He put her in his bed, and went to take a shower. Once he was done he got some pajama pants and put them on. He then crawled into bed. He was almost asleep when he felt her breath on his back. He rolled over and found that she'd left no space between them. He chuckled softly, careful not to wake her. He wrapped his arm around her and fell asleep.

James woke to the sound of his alarm clock. He rolled over and hit it. He unwillingly threw the covers off. He shivered as he felt the cold air. He sat up and then remembered that Lily was supposed to be behind him. His head snapped around to find the bed empty. He got up and stumbled to the kitchen, it was _way_ too early to get up. His eyebrows fused together when he saw Lily making breakfast.

"Good morning James."

James couldn't say anything he blinked his eyes and shook his head, "Do you _know_ what time it is?" His voice was rough with sleep.

Lily giggled, "yeah I know, but I've always been a morning person."

James nodded and turned to go and get ready for work.

When he was dressed he came back to her. He ran his hand through his hair. A feeling coursed through Lily as she watched him. She had never wanted a man so much in her life. He caught her eye and she looked away quickly, blushing slightly. He smirked and came over to her.

"Um…I made you some toast." Her voice shook as his arms snaked around her waist. One hand brushed her hair off of her neck and to her right shoulder. He kissed her neck and left shoulder.

"Hmmm…"

Lily closed her eyes and ran her hand through his hair. She twisted in his arms so that she was facing him, "You need to get to work." She didn't want to say it, but she didn't want him fired either.

"No…" he had moved to her collarbone.

Lily giggled, "Yes."

James groaned and stepped back. Lily immediately wanted him back, but instead she handed him the paper towel with the toast on it. James kissed her before being pushed out the door by Lily. Lily didn't know what to do; she had quit her job, should she go back to Mark? How awkward would that be? No. She twisted her hair in a bun. She went to _his _bathroom to take a shower. She got a thrill from being in _his_ shower. She walked into his room, only in a towel, and looked into his closet. She searched until she found a white button down shirt. She put it on, it was big on her but she loved it. She smelled the collar, it smelled like him. She then searched his drawers until she found some sweat pants. She drew the drawl string so they wouldn't fall off of her. She then had to roll the ends so that she could walk. She went to the front door where her luggage lay, she searched for her make-up bag that would have her hairbrush in it. When she got it she brushed through the tangled mess. She put it back with her stuff and went and lay on his bed. He had a TV in his room, so she turned it on. She watched until she heard something in the kitchen. Afraid it was a burglar she got up and went to check. She crept, making sure she wasn't making any noise. She rounded the corner and saw someone. She jumped and screamed. \

Sirius jumped and dropped what he was holding. He whirled around, "Lily!"

"Sirius!" relieved she came closer to him, "What are you doing here?"

"I would ask you the same, but by your clothes I think I already know." A sly grin played across his face.

Lily looked down and crossed her arms, "Its not like that."

"Of course not, any who, I was just trying to get something to eat until you made me drop it." He said picking up the food from the floor and throwing it away.

"Why don't you raid your own refrigerator? " Lily asked sitting down at the table.

"Because, James's flat is closer to my work and he doesn't mind." He opened the fridge once more.

Lily felt kind of bad, "Oh."

"So…" He said his neck and head were hidden by the opened door, "what's on your agenda for the rest of the day?"

Lily shrugged, "Nothing really, just waiting for him to get home."

Sirius nodded and began to make a sandwich, "He wont be back for a few more hours. He's good at what he does and they like to keep him _there_ as long as they can."

"_There_?"

"With them, at the ministry, sometimes they drag him out to places and…."Sirius stopped,

"And…?" Lily waved her hand for him to continue.

He came and sat opposite of her, "and he has missions to do, I'm not real clear on what exactly he does or where he goes." Sirius knew he had too much, but it was Lily, he knew James would tell her everything.

"Wait," Lily just remembered something, "you work with him, why didn't he come home with you just now?"

Sirius shrugged, " Like I said, he's very good at what he does, they want him there as long as they can keep him."

"But, isn't it required that he have a break or something?" Lily was starting to miss him already.

Sirius shook his head in between bite, " Not really, not for what he does."

"What the hell _does_ he do Sirius?" She questioned, what would he do that they constantly need him for?

Sirius laughed, " I can't tell you, like I said I don't exactly know. He does get days off and such."

"Good." Lily watched him eat, it wasn't a pretty sight.

He stood up and checked his watch, "Well, I got to go."

Lily stood too.

"See you tomorrow, then?" He raised one eyebrow.

Lily punched him in the arm, "You're horrible."

He flashed a smiled and apparated.

Lily smiled and went back to his bedroom. She watched some more TV, then got so bored that she decided to cook.

She was so absorbed in cooking that she didn't hear James come home.

"Hey baby." His voice almost made her drop the pan she holding.

"Hey." She said sitting the pan on the stove before turning to face him.

He kissed her, "What are you making?"

"It was supposed to be fried ham, but I burnt it." She was never any good at cooking.

"That's ok," He smiled, " anything else?" he added nervously.

"Umm…. I made a salad."

"That sounds good." He made a mental note to go out and get something after he and Remus moved her stuff over.

She smiled apologetically.

He placed his hand her cheek and rubbed it with his thumb.

" I love you."

"I love you more." She whispered.

"That's not possible." He brought his face closer to hers…

"Ahem…"

They both looked in the direction it came from.

"Sorry to interrupt, but you said you'd need me." Remus said looking at everything _but _them.

James smiled, " Moony!"

"You ready?" Moony asked.

"Hold on!" Lily ran to her bag as the boys made their way to the door. She got a hair tie and pulled her hair back, "Ok. Ready." She decided not to change, they were going to be moving things and these clothes were comfortable.

Remus walked out the door, James stayed to grab her hand.

"I know we could just apparate back and forth, but muggles have these things called moving vans, and we can put all the things into it at once and drive it back here and were done." Remus sounded pleased with himself.

"Ok." James said.

They drove to Lily's apartment and once inside Lily turned to James, " Do you want me to take everything? Furniture and such?"

"Umm… we could use some chairs, maybe?" James didn't really know, he hadn't thought about it really.

"What about the couch?" Lily asked.

"I can take it off your hands, if you want."

"Natalie!" Lily looked to the door where the voice came from.

"Hey!" Natalie ran over and hugged Lily.

"Hey!" Lily exclaimed, she was so happy to see her.

"So, explain to me why I didn't know you were in…" Natalie looked Lily over and raised her eyebrow.

Lily rolled her eyes, " Nothing happened."

"Ah huh, sure."

"Natalie!"

Natalie laughed, "seriously now, I can take the couch if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm kind of moving-wait where are you going?"

"I'm moving in with James."

Natalie's eyes bugged, "wow, you two move fast."

"Not really, we've known each other-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Natalie heard that speech, so many times she could recite it herself.

"Wait your moving?!"

"Oh, yeah," Natalie smiled and blushed, " I'm moving in with Sirius."

Lily jumped with excitement and hugged Natalie.

"Why do you need my couch though?" Lily asked when she was done with her jumping fit.

"His place is so…I don't know…I don't like his couch, he doesn't like mine, and yours is really nice and so…" Lily's couch was tan and went with anything. At least that's why she bought it.

Lily laughed, "Go ahead and take it."

"Thanks." She smiled.

Once they finally got the last piece of furniture in they all got into the van, it was a very tight squeeze so Lily and Natalie said they would apparate back to James's flat.

After many bruises and stubbed toes, they finally got everything in the right spot at James's. They left Lily's, well Natalie's, couch in the van. Remus said he would drive it over to Sirius's. When they left Lily turned to James.

"What do you think?"

"I like it, if you like it." He said.

"I love it." It was now a mix of them both and it looked just a little bit more together.

James flashed his crooked smile, that made Lily go weak.

"Well," Lily said, " since I burnt dinner, do you want to order in?"

"If you want." James was dying. His stomach had been growling loudly for hours. He just didn't want to make Lily feel bad.

After they ate, James left to shower and Lily went to go wash the burnt off the pan.

While she was scrubbing she felt arms around her waist. She smiled and leaned back.

He started to kiss her neck; his hands began to roam her body. She started giggling, and put the pan down. His hands started to under her shirt, "James."

He didn't hear or didn't listen, they started to go up and she quickly grabbed them with her still soapy hands. She put his hands back down around her waist.

He groaned, " I can't wait 'til we're married."

Her heart pounded faster at the word, "why?" she wanted to know.

He stopped kissing under her ear, " So I can touch you anywhere I want, anytime I want."

She laughed and twisted around to face him, she kissed him.

She was surprised when she felt his tongue begging for an entrance, she obliged and James deepened the kiss. When they came up for air, James picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. He laid her on the bed and put his knees on either side of her. They kissed passionately before James went down to her collarbone. He unbuttoned the first button of his white shirt that she was wearing. An alarm went off in Lily's head, but she ignored it. Her breath came in gasps and her heart was about to burst. James's fingers brushed the top of her chest, "James." She breathed.

He kissed her mouth to silence her. His fingers began to unbutton the second button, "Stop! James, please!" She begged.

James stopped, "Sorry, I couldn't stop." He apologized, he was breathing hard. His hand went straight to his hair.

"I know, that's why I had to say something." She sat up and leaned against the headboard.

James watched her breathing hard. His face broke out into a smile, and he shook his head.

"What?" She asked.

"You drive me wild."

She laughed and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek.


End file.
